By Daylight and Moonlight
by elianthos
Summary: ‘You are everywhere my gaze lies...’. 'You're the key keeping everything in tune...'AU, 1st season. Usagi x Mamoru. Mushy, but – according to my beta ‘a kind of elegant mushiness’ . Dare to try it?Split in two chapters for readers'comfort.
1. By Daylight

**Summary:** 'You are everywhere my gaze lies...'. 'You're the key keeping everything in tune...' AU 1st season. Usagi x Mamoru. Mushy, but –according to my beta- 'a kind of elegant mushiness' . Dare to try it?

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_**By Daylight and Moonlight.** _

_by elianthos_

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**Intro Note**: the story takes place before the Ginzuishou (Silver Crystal) is found. Minako has already joined the senshi group, as in the anime. Usagi and Mamoru are partly fandom-based (they are already lovers but don't know their mutual secret identities. She is about 14, while he's about 18), partly manga-based (she is more mature and he's WAY more romantic. And they secretly meet in the city park. But in my version Luna doesn't chaperone her, nor does she know about them). 

**Dedicated to **all the talented SM writers on the net, and particularly to the ones who first reawakened my enthusiasm for this series and inspired me to – literally- dream this story a pair of months ago: Alicia Blade, Antigone2, ArashinobaraJikkankakyoukou, Blue Jeans, Chibi Cori, cristina1, Draegyn, EightofSwords, Evil Authoress Inc., Experimental, Jennifer Wand, Juillet Mercredi, Kihin Ranno, Lilac Summers, Melete, Merry Faerie, Pandora Diane MacMillan, Quicksilver, Sailor Bray, Sailor Jes, Serenity-hime, sexylyon, Spirit-hime, Stormlight, S.Wright, Tim Nolan, VO1, whimsical nymph.

Last but not least, to Queen, who beta-read this and helped me improving this 'baby' and turning it into something more readable although she was –and still is- very busy and living on the other side of the world. To her goes all my gratitude for being a great writer and best e-mail friend.

Arigatou, my Alatariel.

**Usual disclaimers.**

Oh, and italics words are for thoughts. In case of longer paragraphs, I marked the name of characters' POVs in bold letters.

Now, FINALLY, on with the fic!

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**_By Daylight and Moonlight.

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_**

Because thou hast the power and own'st the grace

To look through and behind this mask of me

(Against which years have beat thus blanchingly

With their rains) and behold my souls' true face,

The dim and weary whiteness of life's race, -

Because thou hast the faith and love to see,

Through that same souls' distracting lethargy,

The patient angel waiting for a place

In the new Heavens, - because nor sin nor woe,

Nor God's infliction, nor death's neighborhood,

Nor all which others viewing, turn to go,

Nor all which makes me tired of all, self-viewed, -

Nothing repels thee, ...Dearest, teach me so

To pour out gratitude, as thou dost, good!

--- Elizabeth Barret Browning, _'Sonnets from the Portuguese'_, XXXIX. ---

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_**1. By Daylight.**_

He could sense her gaze from the Arcade door- glass like invisible fingers on his skin, sending a warm shiver down his spine.

She was challenging him, testing him, renewing this game only the two of them knew. Small talk, even insults, to disguise a secret code of unspoken truth, of an intimate bond.

He walked in and left his eyes wander nonchalantly, purposely avoiding her face.

Without lifting her head from her milkshake, she looked at him: the arch of his body when he stretched a little, the dance of his fingers slackening his school tie and revealing the small cavity at the base of his throat.

When his finger casually brushed the nape of his neck, on the scratch left by her nails the evening before, his lips quirked upwards in response to her smile - seemingly, to Motoki greeting him on her left .

Then he strode his way to the counter, while she picked up her things to leave her stool.

She could turn her head finally, then she stood nearly in his way.

Her gaze _rose _to his. _Look at me_. _Please - at least today - look at me_. She started moving too.

_One step, two, three_. He's still looking aside.

Her pulse quickens, her breath suddenly more laboured.

_Four._

The slight brush of his left arms on hers, the casual stretching of his index finger to linger on her long strands.

The tension and relief flowing in both of them at the contact.

_Five-_

Her knees suddenly weak, she only half-pretendingly stumbled, grasping his arm on reflex.

He caught her in a single smooth movement, both his arms steadying her now. "Always eager to get in my way, Odango Atama?".

His voice sounded mocking, but his breath was so pleasantly hot and caressing on her temples.

She disguised her excited blush and quivering voice under a burst of rage: "Never! And for the millionth time, DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

He has kept holding her, allowing her for a too short-lasting moment to squeeze his elbow and dig her nails in the thin fabric of his jacket.

"Sure, princess klutzy."

He could see her blue depths sparkling with hidden amusement . "You're unreal!"

Then he let her go, and she exited the Arcade.

_She's going right. To the park._

He forced himself to the counter, getting ready to face Motoki's usual remarks. He was not staying there for long, anyway.

She would be paying him back for his comments just now.

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He was sitting on his favourite park bench, in a quiet, private corner, enjoying the lingering warmth of day. 

_A_ late afternoon sun behind him cast longer shadows, inflaming the already rich orange hue of the shimmering pond waters before him

Another shadow now behind him brought even more light and warmth to him. He clutched his book in anticipation.

A pair of slender arms circling him from behind, a kiss on the corner of his eyebrow,

A sweet voice vibrating in his hear and soul: "My prince."

"You're in my way again, princess."

"Always." She moves to sit in his lap, taking the book from his hands. "What are you reading here?"

"Poetry. Emily Dickinson. She was an American –"

"Mamo-chan, I _know_ who she is!"

She pouted, then added with a little of pride: "Contrary to common belief, I'm not that ignorant. Actually, I've already read this same book." To his benefit, she tapped at the cover for emphasis; he liked her fingers tapping.

When he looked inquisitively at her about the 'same book', she playfully smacked his palm

(he liked this too) with it. "While waiting for you in your apartment I had a lot of time..." she dissipated his pang of guilt for being late so often from work by winking at him "...so I checked for something to read beside Trig and Bio textbooks".

"You had no manga with you?" He looked at her with feigned surprise and horror.

She mock-glared at him for a second before joining him chuckling: both knew she had interests wider and tastes better than people realized.

Besides, Mamoru has been teaching her to appreciate poetry, classic and prog rock music, while she had introduced him to the pleasure of enjoying... life. And karaoke contests (she owed Minako these last ones).

Even if Mamoru thought he got the better part, Usagi seemed to consider this as a fair trade. She had been growing up and maturing, and she relieved in their mutual acknowledge of this.

He was the only one treating her as an equal instead of a universally known and cliché "carefree, dumb blonde"; though he showed it only when the two of them are alone – but she stopped herself from following this chain of thought and the secrecy and self-guilt implied.

Their time together was too little and too precious.

She was startled when his arms squeezed her in reassurance, as if he had been reading her mind "We'll work it out, Usako."

His hands and arms so warm.

_He will always be there for me. To catch me if I fall. Literally, _she mused

Cheek to cheek, they began to read aloud together for a while, their fingers partially intertwining on the book cover.

"Why do I love" You, Sir?

Because –

The Wind does not require the Grass

To answer – Wherefore when He pass

She cannot keep Her place.

He nuzzled the sensitive spot below her ear. She squirmed a little, but her voice was still clear.

Because He knows – and

Do not You –

And We know not –

Enough fot Us

The Wisdom it be so –

The Lightning – never asked an Eye

Wherefore it shut – when He was by –

Because he knows it cannot speak - .

And reasons not contained –

- Of Talk -

There be – preferred by Daintier Folk –

The Sunrise – Sir – compelleth Me –

Her irises met his, then she resumed reading.

Because He's Sunrise – and I see –

Therefore – ... Then –

He was kissing her neck now, calling her pulse from her tongue to pound under his lips. Her voice faltering, she tilted her head backwards.

I love Thee –

He murmured the last line on her throat, almost as if pouring the words straight into her veins, for her own blood to carry his voice resonating everywhere within her.

She simmered at the echo, then she moved in his lap to rest more comfortably with her head in the space between his neck and shoulder.

An almost inaudible sigh few minutes later _– too few -_ told him their daily time was over.

She disentangled her form from their embrace, every line of her forearm, wrists, palms, fingers slowly sliding away.

Her fingertips curled over his. She squinted her eyes, sorrow tightening her lips for a second, but her mouth twisted upwards soon after. "I've to go." He released her, his fingers straightening too.

She stepped backwards, hair swaying in the light breeze, eyes locked with his. His body twisted on the bench, not to lose for a second the sight of her, till her form started melting in the sun behind her: gold on gold, light on light.

Now, he too was squinting his eyes, fighting back the surging lump in his throat.

She gave him an understanding smile at the gesture and raised her hand to wave goodbye, but halfway she brought it to her lips to send him a kiss from afar.

He mouthed goodbye to her, his voice still missing.

She finally turned her back to him and ran away.

He kept staring, entranced, until the last ray of light was gone with her to merge into evening colours.

Then in twilight he walked home.

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**AN**: Next and last chapter will be up on Tuesday at worst. (Yes, it's longer. And the Ans are much shorter. Rejoice!) 

About Usagi being so engrossed with Emily's poetry, my beta rightly pinpointed that '_a surprise burst of culture from Usagi would be within the realm of the possible by Stars season and would be fun…at the end of the First season…I don't know. She IS pretty immature at that point, and I don't think very many 3rd year Junior High students are into Dickinson._'

Being me one of those few weird students at the time and now a stubborn weird author, I've left her this way nonetheless. So... you can flame **me** .


	2. By Moonlight

_**2. By Moonlight**_

Of all the Souls that stands create –

I have elected - One –

When Sense from Spirit – files away –

And Subterfuge – is done –

When that which is – and that wich was –

Apart – intrinsic – stand –

And this brief Drama in the flesh –

Is shifted – like a Sand –

When Figures show their royal Front – And Mists – are carved away,

Behold the Atom – I preferred –

To all the lists of Clay!

_---Emily Dickinson, poem # 664.---_

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&

She let the wind ruffle her hair, lift the hem of her skirt.

Swirling sakura blossom like patterns to her heart's desire.

The wind was leading her to where he is, again.

This day she could stay longer with him, and she felt near to bursting with joy.

Her hummed tune mixing in the air with floating petals, she hurried her pace, the park around her soon fading into a kaleidoscope of colors, a blurring tunnel for him to clear.

There he stood, ready to lift her and spin her around, their bodies joining their minds' flight.

They walked and talked quietly, until she started reporting –and singing – to him her latest music discoveries. The lyrics from 'You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman' filled the air.

"Oh, Mamo-chan, I listened to your cd yesterday and it was sugoi! Such a supple, powerful voice! Ah, Aretha Freaking -"

He nearly choked on his ice cream "Aretha NANI?".

She smiled sheepishly, the shame colouring her cheeks fading as she saw his mouth quirking. "Ehr... tricky English names...". Two fluttered eyelashes later, she has not gained a clue from him yet but an expecting stare.

"Come on tell me." Another flutter of eyelashes " Please?".

He leaned his forehead on hers.

She blinked. "You must catch me first." She squealed and started running after him, rubbing the ribs he has just poked her in.

She was chasing him and he knew by experience she could run fast. So he braced hinself for her bear-catch and their consequent tumble on the grass.

"Gotcha!".

He surrendered, laughing hard. But as soon as they were on the ground, he rolled on top of her still panting body.

"Strange way of surrender, mister." She poked him in the ribs. "Now spill."

_Ouch._ He dropped, grimacing, on his back.

"Mamo-chan?" No answer. He laid still. When he sensed her breath on his nose, he opened his eyes while imprisoning her in his arms. She squealed again, before his kiss put her willingly to silence.

After a last peck on the tip of her nose, he accomplished her previous request: "Aretha _Franklin._"

They laid among the grass and flowers, ground and sky wrappping them with the warmth of the day.

Embraced by Nature and by his now dozing beloved, he was aware like never before – before knowing the girl in his arms - of Spring flowing: of every life's patterns pulsing through his hands into his being. He tightened his hug, careful not to wake her up, not yet.

**Mamoru**

_It's because of you. Of the way you always affect me, allowing me to let myself go. Don't ever stop affecting me, transforming me, Usako. Chase me until I surrender, until all my walls crumble, my defenses and doubts and fears and secrets melt away. _

_You know about my childhood. But there are other things I'm hiding from you... _

_Like that I can love this world because you're part of it. I don't know how and why this planet is so peculiarly connected to me, I only feel that it works this way. What I missed was feeling the other way round. Untill I first met you. In you, this contradictory, once distant universe, turns to harmony. You're the key keeping everything in tune. Such is the power you hold on me. Let it be this way forever. Love me, Usako. To the eternity and beyond. _

_Even if you see me pretending to ignore it, to save appearences to the world. But I can't deny this love, nor survive without it. This feeling that makes me sleep in anticipation of a new day instead of wishing this day to be the last for me. _

_This feeling that makes me almost drown with joy and cry and bleed and fight my battles, both as Mamoru and as Tuxedo Kamen, and keeps me alive._

_This gift of you I don't deserve. I lie to you, I keep you at distance. It's for your own good, for your safety, I keep chanting in my mind. Yet selfishly I keep claiming you and yearning for you. To be with you, inside you..._

The rhythm of her breath changed. Her limbs stretched against his frame, conscience awakening.

**Mamoru**

_Now you're touching my face, stroking my hair. Touch me, look at me, until your radiance drenches every fiber of my being. Turn me into someone worth of everlasting affection. _

_Let those twin cloudless skies of yours look at me, shining with so much hope I could even feel long forgotten wings springing in my soul: my own hope and belief to tell you the truth eventually. Because even if you knew about my dreams and secret life you'll be able to trust I'll be strong enough to come back to you: how can Death still claim me when I'm already yours?_

_Will you trust me Usako? Will you still want me? _

She drove him to their favourite bench, the one in the rose garden facing the pond, all the while chatting happily, savouring their extra time together.

"Mamo-chan?"

Her questions took him away from his thoughts :"Mmh?"

"Come here." she sat on one end of the bench and patted her legs.

"Are you sure? I have a big heavy brain"

"A further reason to ease your frail neck from such a burden," she taunted affectionately.

"You've provided me a very nice comfortable nap over there. Now it's your turn. Suit yourself."

She pulled him nearer. "Come to me."

_Come to me…_

He couldn't leave her call unanswered. He didn't wish to.

His head in her lap, she lulled him to sleep, afterglow and her soothing touch caressing him.

**Usagi**

_You seem so frail now in your sleep. Sleep at peace, my love. I'll be the one protecting you, watching your sleep, for once. _

_Let me protect you, now, from the evil and shadows surrounding us. Let me heal the scars of your past. Kami-sama, I don't know if I can, if I'm worthy. I can moondust youmas. But our own inner demons... I can't even rely on my powers. _She even doubted she was worth to be a Senshi._ But I'm trying, I'm trying... _

She cast her eyes to the rising moon as if asking for advice, one first salty droplet rolling silently down her cheeks before she quickly wiped it away. The Moon...

Luna and Ami had told her about every Moon related myth and tale they had found, even the western ones.

**Usagi**

_Serenity. Endymion. A goddess from the moon and a terran prince, unearthly beautiful and sleeping eternally._

The man in her dreams had the same name. The man in her lap stirs the same feelings in her.

She caught her breath. _Why am I thinking about this now?_

She glanced downwards as she felt Mamoru 's head shifting slightly aside in her lap. Her heart ached bittersweetly. _The same feelings... _

**Usagi**

_Ebony hair and eyelashes framed in silvery glow, unearthly beautiful and asleep._

_You're _my_ Endymion, the prince of my heart. We're so close, yet so apart. We know each other like nobody else does, we both have secrets left. _

_Now you're even more withdrawn in your own world, in this cocoon of dreams I can't fathom. Even if tonight the moon is full, and my powers reach the climax . _

She smiles briefly: as if her dreams, her senses, weren't already heightened to an almost hallucinatory level when Mamoru was concerned.

**Usagi**

_You're everywhere my gaze lies, in every thing I touch, taste, hear, smell. Children's laughter, clouds' language, falling leaves, whispering winds, a heron's song, midnight skies: all tugging my heart with joy, melancholy, longing, persistance and ephemerality._

_Strong and high-aiming as the mountains, cold and at the same time comforting as snow and water. _Ami_. Blinding me with your lights as well as with your shadows like lightning in a nightstorm, though to me not fearsome. And holding and nurturing all of me like vine branches of unbreakable strength and delicacy. _Makoto. _Both warming and burning me, solemnly calm or passionately showing me the way – or pushing me towards it -. Fire. _Rei.

_Reassuring and cheering me like a gentle_ _evercoming sun and dancing butterflies. _Minako.

_Everything reminds me of you, Mamoru. As if the whole Earth is mirroring you. Again, so close and so alien at the same time. So elusive yet fulfilling. _

_I close my eyes and every time you're here, engraved inside my eyelids._

_You're haunting me. And I want to be haunted. _

_I'm ashamed of myself, but I even wish I am haunting you as much as you haunt me. I know we're acting to everyone as nothing happened between us, to keep our secret._

_But it's so maddeningly, frighteningly much more easy for you to do so, to mock me or to ignore me when we meet with our friends around: as if i wasn't there, as if I didn't affect you in the least. As if we had never been tied in flesh and soul._

_I'm not sure anymore I can tell between truth and lie. What truly is and what is pretended to be. _

_Also because there are things I didn' t tell you. _

_For how unlikely and laughable it may seem, I'm a warrior, a fighter, a protector. All of us are. I'm the moon Senshi, supposed-to-be champion of Love and Justice. _

_My friends and I have been protecting this city, and possibly – according to Luna – the future of mankind, for months. But even if we trust one another for life and death, I've been lying to them. And to my family – my FAMILY!...-. And to you... to you... _

_This net of lies has been poisoning my life, tainting everything I hold dear. And me._

Her emotions gurgled and swirled untill her inner tide turned in accord with the Earth's, and her decision was made.

**

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Mamoru **

_My last image of you between heaving eyelids is, from below, of you crowned with light by the falling sun rays behind you. _

_Your features swallowed by sunset, you look like the golden counterpart of the princess of my dreams._

_But you're now the one and only. This is all I need to have. The place where I belong._

_Yet when I enter my dream I'm there again, climbing her balcony like a lovestruck, second-hand Romeo._

_Once on top, I see her back first : this creature of ivory and silver, so ethereal... ghostly. Like most of my memories. _

_She turns her head at my whispered calling . She's different now. Her face... Kami-sama... this is not a ghost's face. _

_I'm entranced. Unable to move anymore._

_She comes to me smiling among tears. _

_While I watch her, her looks and even form are shifting at every step she takes, as well as every time she crosses the lights and shadows at intervals in the room. At first she's my silvery glowing princess wearing a white pearl-encrusted gown; a moment later, in a glimpse of red and blue, she's a blonde teenager wearing a Sailor Senshi fuku. _

_I hear_ _my knees hit the floor._

_One step later, she emerges from a pillar of shadow next to me and she's a little child from my past holding a bouquet of crimson roses. Another shadow, the last –and deepest- next to me, engulfes her, and when I focus on her form emerging into light, I see an unmistakable pair of Mary Janes and perfect shaped ankles, the blue folds of her long skirt enhancing even more the silver-highlighted gold of her ponytailed hair. _

_Before I can speak her name, her fingertips press on my lips. I feel her lowering her head, her hair like a feathery soft cascade from her shoulders to mine, and I close my eyes. _

_A drop falls on my cheek. And it's for real._

He opened his eyes, and what he saw were beloved features chiseled in ivory skin, a shiny pattern of tears from moist luminescent orbs, now slowly lowering to meet his from the Moon above. Her corals hesitantly smiled at him before her face turned to lie her cheek in his upraised palm.

"Usagi..."

She slowly rose, inviting him to a sitting position before standing up in front of him. She took one step backwards. Bathed in moonlight, she was silver on silver.

Eyes closed, she began to move.

He watched her while she gestured smoothly and without hesitation in the trademark Sailor Moon pose.

Then she opened her eyes again, keeping herself utterly still. Waiting for his reaction.

Silence.

She seemed to glow, but he knew the pouring moonlight was not the only reason. With the memory of the dream still lingering and melding with their present reality, he was not as surprised as he could have been just few hours before.

She was still, uncertain, remorse crawling in her heart while looking into his gaze, now shifting to her chest, his eyes unfathomable, shadowed by his long, thick eyelashes.

"Don't you think I look a lot like her?" she asked, wishing to sound playful enough to mask her nervousness and creeping self-guilt. She could mend everything saying it was a joke, she thought.

But he had felt the underlying tension in her voice.

He raised one hand to touch her brooch. So similar to hers. It could have seemed so crazy, but it felt so right now. And he remembered suddenly that day on the bus, sitting side by side, when he had heard her speaking to her cat Luna: a talking dark-furred cat was a constant companion to Sailormoon's first appereances.

"A lot indeed" he answered at last, in a murmur.

How could he have been unable to notice, before? How could she trust in him so much to tell him - while she did know so little about him -?

_Will you trust me Usako? Will you still want me?_

He had not dared to ask her before. And here she was, offering him the answer nonetheless.

She had trusted him since the very beginning, welcoming him with all of herself in another, far away life and world.

And in this present one, showing him freely her best qualities as well as her flaws even when they were supposed to be enemies. Letting him catch her and hold her in his arms without real resistance on the way to school in the morning. In more recent times, allowing him to visit her at night when his need to touch her, to breathe her in, to talk to her, was too overwhelming.

And now, this.

She was always giving him so much more than he could return.

But he could give her back something, finally.

She gasped at the contact with her brooch, and at the sound of his voice, much lower than usual, so oddly familiar and different at the same time. She couldn't pinpoint why, not yet. Near-recognition pounding at her from inside, through her pulsating temples, and from the outside light that surrounded them both, pervading her eyes.

His fingers lingered on the brooch, tracing the half-moon lines in the centre, the four tiny gems on the border. She lowered her gaze, following the movements of his hand, unable to speak again.

Something soft and velvety brushed on her forehead, startling her.

Their eyes met again, the red spot between them now recognizable. His head was tilted on one side, the rose _– rose?-_ he held in the other hand was now softly pressing on her lips. He spoke.

"Thank you. For trusting in _me._ For trusting in what we are, _whoever_ who we are".

A deep crimson rose, apparently coming out from nowhere, with a scent like... Tuxedo Kamen's. _Mamoru_'s scent.

She was tracing his features now, his jaw line, his lips, his nose, his eyebrows, his eyelids.

His blue, grey-sparkled depths went alight with his own faint golden glow below the blinding moonbeams whiteness.

Her eyebrows furrowed briefly, her fingers dug into his hair, while she tried to compare, and she remembered at last, her body and mind's eye opening.

This man, her saviour, enemy, lover, friend, her greatest weakness and her greatest strength, prince and ruler of her very being and of a lost, forgotten kingdom.

This present, as well as once and future, rose garden. And moonlight and existence and world.

Passing instants stretched to eternity, and time went full circle.

Mutual realization in their irises, awe and joy. What the heart already knew beyond words and memories of two lifetimes could finally blossom through their lips "It's you...".

They embraced, with the gesture crossing and connecting time and space, renewing their bonds of memories and feelings, of other people and beings, each one carrying a cosmos inside. Everyone and everything. Everyone in everything.

And in that moment of full realization and fulfillment, they knew that whatever challenge they would meet, and although Death was always just one step away, everything would be all right.

**

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**ANs:** Finished! ---sigh with relief---. I think I'm better – FASTER for sure- at drawing than at writing ( ---hint, hint--- please click the link on my bio page to have a look at my drawings. I'm uploading both SM-related and not SM-related works. Hope you like them!)

Thanks to Nimbirosa, aka Arashinobara, I realised my 'anonymous reviews' option was disabled. I've changed it, so you can drop a line (or just a word) now, if you wish. I'd really appreciate that. ---endearing smile---

Just a **note** **about #1** and some **answers**:

Dear Alicia, if and when you read this story, know that the quotation from your fic title was utterly - and fondly - intentional.

For people who didn't read it, the title is 'Catch Me If I Fall', by Alicia Blade. Such a good fic; I highly recommend it: one of the best examples I know of the heigths you can achieve starting from a very simple and thin plot. You must be skilled to do that. And she does.

**Neo-Diji**: of course you can bother me. It's only fair: I've been bothering you a lot ---winks---. And, yes, when Usagi says: " I have to go" the meaning is "I've got to go". The 'have to' form _should_ be right for BE. But I'm not sure.

**Nimbi-chan**: I hope this second chapter did meet your expectations. And thank you again for putting my fic in your C2.

---for people not knowing her works, just look after either her pen-name 'Nimbirosa' or 'Arashinobara Jikkankakyoku'. You won't regret it ---hints&nods fiercely--- ---.

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